Rants: What Gets Me Worked Up?

Certain things really yank my chain. So what's the best way to work through your aggression? Write about it, of course!

Is Everyone Else Who Drives A Moron? - 07/20/2002 - 12:05 AM

I drive to work every day. And nothing pisses me off more than an idiot who is driving. These are some of the people who I wish I could hit with Hellfire anti-tank missiles:

People who drive the speed limit or under...IN THE PASSING LANE. Please get the hell out of the way.
People who drive like a NASCAR racer in order to progress an extra 10 feet on the highway. Hurry up and crash, preferably not into me.
Cops who pull people over during rush hour, like they don't know that their damn lights will cause 15 miles of backups. I hope that extra SPEEDING TICKET this month was worth it, Porky!

More to come...

My Plan for Traffic Accidents - 12/11/2002 - 10:07 PM

As previously mentioned, I drive to work every day. And I've come to believe that people that cause accidents on the highway do not get the punishment they deserve. I'm not talking about true accidents, because these are *very* rare. I'm talking about someone speeding and changing lanes without signaling...and who causes some collision.

My plan is simple: a range of fines and punishment depending on where and when you caused the accident. Something like...

Accident off of a main highway - standard fine.
Accident on main highway but not during rush hour - double fine.
Accident off main highway during rush hour - four times standard fine.
Accident on main highway during rush hour - eight times standard fine and public embarassment punishment. Either walking with a sign or having home address published, something like that.

Now, I know this will never happen. But when I think of how many people are affected and how much time is wasted when everyone has to wait in traffic because of some dumbass, I crave retribution. Explaining my silly plan is not much retribution, but if it makes anyone laugh, or better, makes you think I might be right, it's a start.

Your H.P. Lovecraft Quote of the Moment:

We had expected, upon looking back, to see a terrible and incredible moving entity if the mists were thin enough; but of that entity we had formed a clear idea. What we did see - for the mists were indeed all too malignly thinned - was something altogether different, and immeasurably more hideous and detestable. It was the utter, objective embodiment of the fantastic novelist's 'thing that should not be'; and its nearest comprehensible analogue is a vast, onrushing subway train as one sees it from a station platform - the great black front looming colossally out of infinite subterranean distance, constellated with strangely colored lights and filling the prodigious burrow as a piston fills a cylinder.

"At the Mountains of Madness"

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